What I'm All About

Welcome to "The Gods Are Bored," with a ha ha ha and a ho ho ho and a he he he! Jolly good fun!

I had such an awful day today that I could either sit here and cry, or sit here and laugh. Laugh it is!

Let me think about something funny.

Oh, here's a good one.

My dad was raised in a strict Baptist family. He didn't smoke or drink. But one year at Christmas, the next door neighbor gave Dad a bottle of wine as a present.

Dad was the kind of guy who never liked to see anything go to waste. If someone was going to give him a bottle of wine, by golly, he was going to drink it!

One evening he drank it. I don't know how much of it he drank at once. You just have to trust me, this was truly a one-time thing. No booze before this, no booze afterward.

He was sitting in his lounge chair, and he just started laughing.

(Oh, yeah, like that's not a typical response to alcohol.)

I said, "What's so funny?"

And he just split a gut. When he could speak (several minutes), he said, "What if they had a horse race, and they loaded all the horses into the gate, and the gate opened, and none of the horses ran?"

He guffawed for another five minutes, and that was all he said.

It is pretty funny, if you think about it.