Granted

Filling out a grant application is like extended bad coitus with an inept partner who suffers from halitosis without benefit of lubrication--either natural or supplemental.

I was however, heartened to see this in the latest application I am filling out:

"NOTE: Writers concerned only with doing research on art history are not eligible to apply."

Good to see those effers getting the slip right off the bat. That's right, art history researchers, get back on the bus you mothers! No grant money for you.

Ha!